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Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Really. A Gem. Lovely.

I was standing in my parent's living room, naked from the waist down. I think my brother was sitting on the couch watching, but I'm not sure about that, the background was all pretty much a blur. I think my mom and dad and brother were all there actually, but they just kept running past me, stopping to stare but so blurred out they weren't really a part of it. But I was somewhat embarrassed that they were watching me like that.

I wasn't feeling any pain, but I was very much aware that I was in the process of giving birth. I worried about dripping stuff on my parents' carpet. I looked at my feet, they were huge and swollen. I could barely stand up, so I figured I should squat.

It seemed weird that I wasn't in any pain. I wanted to be sure of what was going on, so I froze in that pose for a moment, steadied myself by putting my left hand on the worn-out armrest of the love seat, and ran the fingers of my right hand around the wide-stretched rim of my vagina. Nope, it didn't hurt, but yep, something was about to crown.

It was time to push. I felt a warm gush of liquid flow over my fingers. I looked at my hand, it was covered with blood mixed with a yellowish fluid. I held my breath, squatted, and squeezed.

It only took one push for the head to come out. It was not an infant, that I could tell. I also didn't feel like it was my offspring. I took absolutely no ownership of it. It could not have been mine - it wasn't even human.

The head was larger than a baby's would've been, but it slipped out easily, I was proud of myself for doing such a good job of it, even though it was so fucking creepy. The bones of the skull had been squished into a cone, and the head was covered in more bloody stuff, it kind of coated it, like burned on barbecue, but wetter.

The thing had a huge head but a little body. It had pointed ears, old man's eyes, and sharp jagged teeth. I held it up at an arm's length to see if it was attached to me, if I had to keep on pushing to expel the afterbirth. There wasn't any. It wasn't mine. There was no cord connecting us. But still it called me mama.

1 comment:

  1. Found poem - I wrote this to someone in a 2007 email. Egads!